Find Your TRIbe.

“When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of, “Me too!” be sure to cherish them. Because those weirdos are your tribe.”

~~~

There is nothing more important in life than your tribe. I learned this the hard way - the stubborn way. I learned this by spending years proving to myself that I could travel and live all over the world and survive on my own. Of course I could survive. But I wasn’t thriving. Sure, I made lifelong connections and met the most incredible people of all different countries and cultures and that is what I cherish most about those experiences, but we as humans are meant to be a PART of something constant. We’re meant to have a tribe - a community or group of people who keep you grounded and support you and push you to exceed the physical and mental limitations you have placed upon yourself. Personal success and accomplishments in life mean nothing without a tribe to celebrate them with.

Through triathlon I found my passion in life, but I also found my tribe. At first they were just names of people I often heard my Dad speak about - just characters in someone else’s story. When my parents were still in Australia, there was a time after I had moved back to Texas that I was living in their house alone awaiting their return. I was overcome with worry, fear, and anxiety. I still couldn’t leave the couch, or eat, or sleep. People invited me out, but I couldn’t leave. I felt paralyzed and just wanted to sit and wait for them to come through the door, alive and healthy. That would be the first moment I could breathe and know everything was going to be okay. 

But it wasn’t long before the doorbell started ringing unexpectedly. These strangers whose names I had heard dozens of times were now standing at the front door with food and gifts. My inbox flooded with messages from people I had only heard stories about. It was just me, alone in my parents house, with enough food to feed myself - and a high school football team - for weeks. I’d never experienced this kind of love and compassion from strangers before. But they cared about my family, and so they cared about me. I know they were just trying to support my parents, but I don’t think they – or even myself - realized how much their gestures would change the way I prioritized my life. 

My desire to be a part of this tribe wasn’t immediate. Falling in love with Triathlon is something that derives from a deep desire within yourself to be better, to do better, with an ever-developing desire and self determination to want to demolish and destroy all previous boundaries within your life. The tribe and community comes with that, and evolves over time. There is no better way to get close to people than battling out grueling winds on a bike, fighting unforgiving waves in a lake or ocean, and climbing muscle-blasting hills on a run side by side. You are on the battlefield together - in the trenches - with war stories only you and the members of your tribe can comprehend. The kind you don’t even have to talk about, you just look at them and see and feel the expressions they're wearing - whether it be anticipation, determination, pain, relief, frustration, or pure joy – and your simple reaction is, “I know the feeling – I get you.”

There is no greater feeling in the world than that of being understood. The single most important thing the members of my team and I all have in common is we all made it to the starting line. We don’t always know what got each other there, but what we do know is that to be on that starting line means they’ve already been through some tough sh** in life and survived. And now they mean business. Some of us have struggled with a physical illness, others have struggled with mental illness. Some of us fight the battle for loved ones we’ve lost, or for the ones who can no longer fight for themselves. Some of us take on the challenge for longevity, so they can play with their grandchildren. For some its for our youth, because we’ve learned that staying up all night and drinking ourselves into a full day of mind fog and laziness the next day is not as meaningful and fulfilling as it once seemed. My tribe is full of badass men and women, and because I surround myself with them, I am one of them.

My tribe is my family. They have seen me at my highest of highs and lowest of lows, and they have supported me during both. There is something about having an entire community of people who believe in you, who are cheering for you to succeed, that makes you feel invincible. One high five, one person yelling your name, one smile or simple “you’ve got this” nod from a teammate can dissolve all uncertainty and self-doubt. Ironman is and always will be a personal accomplishment – the result of hours of physical and mental training – but the victory of crossing a finish line is so much sweeter when you can share that feeling of pure euphoria and bliss with others.

To live well is to live in community. To be successful is to help others succeed. To be fulfilled is to be filled to the brim with love and compassion. Your tribe is your foundation - the substance of your life. They are what remains constant in an everchanging world of uncertainty. They are what remains when everything else is stripped away. Your tribe is your peace in the chaos and your refuge through life’s storms. Once you have experienced and expressed complete gratitude for this incredible blessing of human connection, you will truly know what it means and how it feels to be happy. Love your tribe, love your people, and thrive together.  

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do, is ignore them because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward. Maybe they have to be crazy. Because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”- Jack Kerouac